The truth to avoid ……… Some funny job interview stories

Funny job interview stories are good for more than just a laugh. They illustrate the mistakes that many job candidates make, only make them in a much bigger and more obvious way. For instance, there's the story of the candidate who was asked to describe his ideal job. His response was that he didn't know, that he hadn't had it yet. This shows a serious lack of understanding of how to play the interview game. In that event, the best response is to simple describe the job that you are applying for. Or there's the story of the candidate who was asked what motivated him. He answered that he had a big house, a big car and a big credit card balance, so he was motivated by money. As honest as this answer is, most employers do not appreciate being told answers that honest. For one thing, it implies that the employee will leave for a more lucrative offer.

Another funny job interview story is of the job seeker who wondered aloud what would happen if she "woke up in the morning and did not feel coming to work." Even if that is a fit subject for philosophizing, it is not the sort of image of yourself that you would ever want to implant in the employer's mind. Another candidate was asked what he wanted to be doing in his next position. He said that he knew what he didn't want to be doing: sitting in boring meetings, doing grunt work and having to be nice to people all day long. Obviously, this employee didn't get the whole concept of pitching yourself as a team player during the interview. Whether or not he wanted to take the job eventually, he at least should have kept his mouth shut long enough to get the offer.

The Lessons of Funny Job Interview Stories

The main lesson to learn from funny job interview stories is that job interviews are games and rituals. For better or worse, they have rules and norms which are unique and even nonsensical compared to how people behave in their normal life. As a result, some behavior, specifically honesty and candidness are highly inappropriate in the job interview arena. Specifically speaking, the rules of the job interview ritual are that the candidate must pretend that he or she is scrupulously honest, motivated, loves performing the target job's duties, has been a stellar employee his or her whole career, and is taking the job for the professional and personal challenges that it offers.

Funny job interview stories result from when that fiction is departed from. What's not so funny about these stories is that they all represent someone who wanted or needed another job and didn't get it because of their mistake. Their hilarious stories should be a warning to job seekers. Whatever your personal feelings and opinions, the key goal of the job interview is to get the offer. Even if your interview convinces you that the company is not an appropriate fit for you, continue to do and say what is necessary to get the offer. You can always turn the job down later, but at least have the option of taking it if you decide that you want or need it.

Follow-up email for a job application: The way to do it.

As we said like two weeks ago, almost 90% of job applications these days are electronic i.e. via email. After you have done a job application by email, there are specific guidelines that should guide you into making a follow up email. This is a subject that may look straight forward but it is not because this is an email that should be crafted very carefully. Remember that this is an email that an employer is not obliged to reply and if they reply consider it a privilege. Some job seekers consider calling in but if you used an email as a method of job application, and then use it to follow up on an application.

You have recently submitted a job application for a position you would love to have. But how do you help your application float to the top of the pile to get an interview? You can do this with a follow-up email after a job application. The follow-up email will place your name in front of the interviewer and help them find your application faster. This may seem far-fetched but if you make an enquiry, it may be seen as an interest in the job more than the other candidates. HR executives may tend to remember your name more than the others. But how do you make it?

Basic hints are:

1.   Address the follow-up email to a specific person: This might be the head of human resources or the recruiter who posted the advert that you responded to.

2.   Introduce yourself to the person using your full name: Tell the person when you sent in your application and how you sent it to the company.

3.   Tell the interviewer that you would like to follow up on the status of your application and mention the specific title of the position.

4.   End the follow-up email telling to job interviewer that you look forward to hearing from her concerning the position. Give time frames and a number where you can be contacted to set up an interview.

These are the four basic rules you should always follow in order to get yourself ahead of the pack. Always try to be different from the rest of the applicants. This follow up email should also be like any other application letter: Very brief.

Be careful not to talk too much on the email or show how desperate you are in the job hunting exercise. If you really need the job, do NOT show it through the email.

All the best.

Safaricom Job

Research Data Manager Job in Kenya

Academic Model Providing Access to Health Care (AMPATH) is a project under the auspices of Moi University School of Medicine and Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital whose aim is to provide sustainable efforts in HIV Prevention and Care.

Beside MTRH site, AMPATH also supports MOH in 8 Districts in Rift Valley, 1 District in Nyanza and 11 in Western Province.

Applications are invited from qualified candidates for the following vacant position in AMPATH Program.

Research Data Manager

1 Post

Role:

Reporting to the Assistant Program Manager for Research, the successful candidates will among others be responsible for the following:-

Duties and Responsibilities

• Liaise with the Clinicians and the Biostatisticians in retrieving data and organizing data for various Research questions from the databases.
• Ensure quality data for analysis by cleaning Research data retrieved from the databases and document necessary corrections.
• Prepare quarterly, semi-annual and annual reports to Ministry of Health and funding agencies.
• Train clinical Research associates to help improve the quality of the data being collected.
• Any other duties as may be assigned.

Qualifications

The ideal candidate:-

• Must hold Bachelor of Science in Statistics or Mathematics or related field from a reputable university. Masters in Statistics or Mathematics will be an added advantage
• Must possess statistical and computer experience of more than 1 year.
• Must be proficient in statistical software e.g. SAS, SPSS, STATA, S-Plus/R, Epilnfo and spreadsheets.
• Research experience will be an added advantage

Candidates are reminded to advise their referees to submit their letters of Reference before the closing date.

Terms of Employment

The successful candidate will be employed on a 1-year renewable contract terms with a competitive salary and allowances. 

Candidates who meet these requirements and are interested should submit their applications, copies of certificate together with detailed Curriculum Vitae giving details of current remuneration to:

Program Manager
P.O. Box 4606-30100
Eldoret

So as to reach him on/before 3rd November 2011. 

NB: only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.

Latest Job In kenya

Massive Recruitment at the Kenyan Judiciary (279 Positions)

Republic of Kenya

Judicial Service Commission

Vacancies in the Judiciary

The Constitution of Kenya focuses on values of integrity, efficiency and effectiveness in work performance, citizen-centered and results-focused service delivery.

In fulfillment of its constitutional mandate as provided under article 159 and responding to the high public expectations and demands for improved performance, the Judiciary has developed an Integrated Comprehensive and Institutional Transformation Framework.

This Framework will enable the Judiciary to adopt a holistic approach that is built on sector-wide collaboration, strategic and technical partnerships and benchmarked on emerging national, regional and global smart practice.

To provide a resource framework the Judiciary with the Judicial Service Commission (JSC) providing overall policy direction and oversight, has established the following implementation arrangements; The Leadership Committee chaired by the Chief Justice, the Transformation Steering Committee chaired by the Deputy Chief Justice and a Technical Secretariat comprising Internal and External Team of Experts led by the Chief Registrar.

To enhance its capacity to implement this Integrated Comprehensive Strategic Framework, the Judiciary wishes to expand its technical human resource capacity by filling the following vacant positions.

Resident Magistrate 

160 Posts

Ref: V/No. 14/2011

Terms of Service: Permanent and Pensionable

Station: Various

Requirements for Appointment:

For appointment to the position of Resident Magistrate, an applicant must be in possession of the following minimum qualifications:-

• A Law Degree from any recognized university;
• A Diploma from the Kenya School of Law or an exemption by the Council of Legal Education;
• Admission to the Roll of Advocates;
• Proficiency in computer applications;
• Must not have any pending complaints with the Advocates Complaints Commission, the Disciplinary Committee or adverse report from previous employer;
• Serving in private practice or other employment with three years (3) experience post admission and a current practicing certificate and
• Must posses the qualifications set out in Chapter Six of the Constitution of Kenya

Duties and Responsibilities:

The successful candidates will be posted to any court station in the country:-

Specific duties will include:-

• Presiding over Resident Magistrate's Court in any part of Kenya with jurisdiction as stipulated in various statutes;
• Performing Deputy Registrars duties as stipulated in various statues;
• Overseeing the operations of the court(s) and management of staff under his/her charge; and
• Carrying out a wide range of administrative functions for those heading stations,
• Carry out any other such duties as may be assigned by the JSC

Legal Researchers 

1. To the Chief Justice (1 post)
2. To the Deputy Chief Justice (1 post)
3. To the Supreme Court Judge (5 posts)
4. To the Chief Registrar of the Judiciary (2 posts)
5. To Court of Appeal Judge (30 posts)
6. To High Court Judge (80 posts)

Ref: V/No. 15/2011

Terms of Service: 3 Year Contract

Station: Various

Requirements for Appointment:

For appointment to the position of Clerk to the above mentioned offices, an applicant must be in possession of the following minimum qualifications:-

• A Law Degree from any recognized university;
• A Diploma from the Kenya School of Law or an exemption by the Council of Legal Education;
• Admission to the Roll of Advocates;
• Proficiency in computer applications;
• Must not have any pending complaints with the Advocates Complaints Commission, the Disciplinary Committee or adverse report from previous employer;
• Those in private practice must be in possession of a current practicing certificate
• 2 years experience in Legal Research

Duties and Responsibilities:

The successful candidates will perform the following function:-

Specific duties will include:-

• Research on precedent setting authorities within varied jurisdictions both within and outside of the commonwealth;
• Drafting well research legal brief on variety of legal issues touching on different branches of law;
• Writing analytical summaries of written argument or evidence and assessing the argument in light of academic legal literature and case law;

Interested and qualified persons are requested to make their applications by filling in the online Application for Employment forms JSC 2A (for public officers) or JSC 2 (for other applicants) available on the judiciary website www.judiciary.go.ke/jobs

So as to reach the Commission within a period of twenty one (21) days from the 14th Oct 2011

Only short listed and successful candidates will be contacted. 

Canvassing in any form will lead to automatic disqualification.

The Judicial Service Commission is an Equal Opportunity Employer and selects candidates on merit, through fair and open competition, from the widest range of eligible candidates.

Secretary, 
Judicial Service Commission

 

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