Thursday 3 November 2011

Do stupid questions deserve stupid answers? NO

Going on a job interview is never a fun experience. It can be nerve-wracking, stressful and full of pressure. Most people are forced to resort to lying during interviews because telling the truth would reveal quite a few flaws. On the other side, the interviewer usually ask a number of bogus questions that are either totally irrelevant or require a response that will be a complete lie.

In this post, we will be listing a number of bogus questions and answers. 
You’ll hear why it’s a stupid question, the bogus response most people probably give, as well as the response most people are thinking but don’t actually say.


1.   What is your greatest weakness? This is the king of bogus questions at a job interview. In the history of job interviews, not a single person has ever told the truth. It’s a totally pointless question to ask because no one would ever give a straight answer. No one is going to be honest about their flaws on a job interview because that would severely hurt their chances of getting the job. You’re always told to say some crap you can turn into a strength such as…

What you probably said: I often push myself too hard. I don’t know how to balance my life because I’m a workaholic. I’m a perfectionist who has trouble accepting failure.

What you were really thinking: Well let’s see. I’m really lazy. I usually stroll in to work at least 15 minutes late. I take long lunches and talk bad about my co-workers behind their backs. I am not willing to go the extra mile and I’ll spend most of my day going on Facebook and making personal phone calls. 
2.   Why do you want to work here? The interviewer wants to know if you’re passionate about the job you’re applying for or if you just want a job. More often than not, it’s the latter.

What you probably said: I’m looking for a new challenge in my life. This company has a strong reputation and I feel I would be a good fit here for many years to come.

What you were really thinking: Why do you think I want this job? I’m broke and I need money. My last job sucked more than this one, so I quit on an impulse before I realized the repercussions of being unemployed. I want this job because you have an opening and I need a job. If I don’t get a job soon I will have to move back in with my parents. You really think my passion in life to sit all day and push papers? You think I grew up dreaming of working here when I was a little boy? Nope. Truth is I messed up my life and now I have to settle for working a meaningless, unfulfilling job that can provide me with the middle-class boring lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to.
3.   Where do you see yourself five years from now? The employer likely wants to see if you have long-term goals. Ideally if you’re goal-oriented you’ll make a better employee. This question is stupid because everyone says they will have the perfect life five years from now.

What you probably said: I see myself working in upper management and helping this company continue to be successful. In my personal life, I hope to get married and start a family.

What you were thinking: I have no clue what I’ll be doing five years from now. I don’t know what I’ll be doing next week! God help me if I’m still working at this job five years from now. If I am then I’ll probably be jumping off the nearest tall building. That’s probably where I’ll be.
4.   Are you willing to work overtime, nights and weekends if need be? This job may require some overtime and the interviewer wants to know if you are prepared to do so.

What you probably said: Absolutely. I want to do whatever it takes to be successful in this position. If that means working overtime or coming in on Saturday from time-to-time than so be it.

What you were thinking: NO WAY am I willing to work nights and weekends.
5.   Do you have any questions for me/us? Supposedly you should always have some questions prepared. That it way it makes you look like you are genuinely interested in the job.

What you probably said: Yes I do. Based on the interview today, are there any concerns you have in regards to my ability to perform this job?

What you were thinking: How much does it pay? How many leave days will I get?  Were you serious about working nights and weekends? Does your hot secretary have a boyfriend?
6.   Why did you leave your last job? The interviewer just wants to make sure you didn’t leave your previous job on a bad note.

What you probably said: Well…I just felt it was time for a change. I had been there for a few years and I was ready for a new challenge. There was little room for growth in the company and I want to move up in my field.

What you were thinking: My boss was an idiot. I couldn’t stand him. He made me work long hours and low pay and didn’t treat me with respect. All my co-workers were total LOSERS and I couldn’t stand to stay there another second. One day, I just lost it and told my boss off, stole all the office supplies I could carry, walked out the door and went straight to the bar to get loaded.

Just go with the answers in red to be on the safe side. All these was with a light touch.

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